Lost in Teenslation

Friday, July 19th, 2024

DOWNTOWN BATHROOMS circa 8:30 pm—The daytime’s blueness has begun to lose its vehemence, leaving the structures and items of our encampment to lose their color and detail. A chair, a crate, a bank of sinks—they take on a monochromatic pallor in the fading light. Crickets blare from every direction. In the background, the festivities of Teen Staff Talent Night can be heard emanating from the Rainbow Theater. Songwriting Instructor Vashaun Harris has been posted guard here for tonight’s show. He surveils the scene from a central perch, dissuading would-be loiterers and mischief makers.

“I don’t know, I was just scheduled here,” he remarks.

The downtown bathroom area, or “Loo-Loo” as it’s known, is a nexus of glamping amenities such as flushing toilets, showers with hot water, and even a laundry service. Nearby a roped-off cluster of trees surrounding a propane tank serve as Camp’s lost-and-found. As the sun fades the bulbs of the bathrooms grow in prominence, attracting bugs and humans alike with their warm glow. I’ve positioned myself here tonight to snag a few buzzing quotations in my web of questions.

“I can’t find my water bottle,” says Quill, 12, of the Sky Blue Tipi, rifling through the lost-and-found crates. “I looked all over and I can’t find it. It’s red and purple and covered in stickers in case you see it. There’s one sticker that has a bunch of dice and two hands clutching the air around the dice and the caption says ‘Yes, I need more dice!’ That’s how I feel normally. Now in addition I feel like ‘Yes, I need more water bottle!'”

“I have this theory that Camp does something weird to your brain,” continues Quill. “For example this morning at breakfast we were discussing which day it is. We narrowed it down to Thursday or Friday, but we never came to a full consensus. That’s probably why I lost my water bottle.”

“My friend had to use the bathroom so I came here with her,” says Nirmaan, 14, of the Flame Tipi. “The Teen Staff show so far is really funny and impressive. I think the lost-and-found is great as long as you don’t steal out of it. Just yesterday I found my fake, two-dollar gold earrings in there! I’m glad no one stole them.”

“I was impressed by the diablo,” says Tilly, 14, of the Ultraviolet Tipi. “This one Teen Staff threw it like fifteen feet in the air and then caught it. Crazy. Camp is going good in general; lots of laughter, zero physical pain.”

“I think the lost-and-found is good, but it could be more useful if people paid more attention to it,” says Karina, 14, also from Flame. “The Teen Staff do a really good job of getting the word out by doing a lost-and-found fashion show, and it’s a good opportunity for Teen Staff to get on stage, just like tonight’s show. But the campers just don’t know or don’t care if they’ve lost something.”

“I just got done with stilt dance, and later I’ll be doing acro and aerials,” says Teen Staff Xochitl, panting and perspiring from exertion. “The stilt dance was to ‘Hot To-Go’ by Chappell Roan. I love that song; it’s been my favorite jam since it came out this winter. It’s so campy. It’s sincere pop, like she’s not singing about anything that she doesn’t really feel. She never got to be a cheerleader so she made her own cheer anthem. It’s sort of an ironic statement. She has this one music video where she falls in love with a siren and another where she falls in love with a magician, and another where she falls in love with the Pink Pony Club. But in terms of Teen Staff Talent Night, I was pleased with Mimi’s rendition of Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want For Christmas.’ She has a great voice and did a great job.”

“I’m here to take a well-needed shower,” says Singing Instructor Val Le. “I had my feet in the creek for two hours uninterrupted. I saw an amazing opera performance tonight. In my professional opinion as a singer I can say it was truly virtuosic. It was in Italian so I’m not sure what song it was.”

“Hey, there’s my water bottle!” interjects Val, walking over to the lost-and-found crates. “Put that in your blog!”

“I’m here on top-secret laundry business,” says Laundry Queen Theo Puleston. “Every morning campers can submit laundry in a green mesh bag with a unique number, and I try to get it back to them by the same evening. Right now the washer is making some mysterious noises.”

“The lost-and-found is essential,” says Sebastian, 10, of the Orange Tipi. “Say someone lost one of their crucial items like a toothbrush or a hairbrush or a shampoo—and it was their only one—then their parents would have to buy them a new one. And say you lost your shampoo every day, or even multiple times a day, your parents would eventually run out of money. Plus it would be hard to take a shower. If everyone ran out of both shampoo and money, society might collapse. Someone might come up with a new form of money, such as conditioner. Or better yet, some sort of combination shampoo-conditioner, a two-in-one if you will. That way, if you run out of one, you can just keep using the same thing.”

“Teen Staff Talent is really nice,” he adds.

Stay hydrated,

—J. Payseno, Editor

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Class Action

Thursday, July 18th, 2024

RAINBOW THEATER circa 11:45am—A distant wildfire has cast a faint, white haze into the atmosphere, mainly visible in the contrast between the immediate tree line and the neighboring hills (check out Lost Coast Outpost for more info). More noticeable is the campfire aroma which somehow conjures delicious visions of our impending lunchtime. Second period has just begun and campers freshly dismissed from the theater run or amble in all directions toward the myriad class sites.

A group of ‘indeciders’ loiter by the stage to ponder the white board class list. A trifecta of counselors assist in the decision-making process, namely PerfCo, Duper of the Day, and Straggler Patrol (see: teacher manager, time keeper, and roaming supervision). As the last of the crowd disperses, the clowning class takes the stage to plumb the depths of absurdity. I take my own leave, eager to better understand the daily phenomenon of morning classes. My first stop is the Big Top, home of the acrobat.

“Moving one body only goes so far,” says Walker, 15, of the Scarlet Tipi. “In partner acro, you work with another person in harmony, increasing possibilities, expanding understanding. The hardest part is getting on the same wavelength. Once you’re mentally connected it becomes super easy.”

Completely out of iced coffee, I head for the kitchen, making a quick pitstop at the ever-tranquil Art Grove. Tissue paper flowers adorn the shade structure, creating a addition dimension of colorful detail. A row of small, red-handled scissors patiently wait atop yester-year’s paint splatters on a large worktable. Young artists are seated around, wrestling tissue and pipe cleaner into botanical facsimiles while the dulcet tones of The Alessi Brother’s “Seabird” stream out of a small portable speaker.

“Does this look crazy?” asks Jillian, 10, of the Yellow Tipi, while holding up the craziest thing I have ever seen in my life. “This is Frank the Banana Slug’s throne. He is very important and very adorable.”

“He’s king of slugs everywhere!” adds Jasmine, 10, also from Yellow.

“I’ve had Frank for two years,” continues Jillian. “I made him these necklaces yesterday here in the Art Grove. The first one says ‘FRANK’, the second ‘THE SLUG’, and third ‘KING’. Frank the slug king! The Art Grove is a calm place to have weird ideas.”

“I totally agree,” says Jasmine. “People come here to make props for their shows or just to whack out some crazy idea. I love it.”

I quietly rotate over to the kitchen dining area where a songwriting class is underway. The kitchen and dish house, usually bursting with canned music, have paused their playlists for the budding composers who hunch over pencil and lined paper at the multitude picnic tables.

“As far as themes this session, everyone’s songs are different; it’s hard to pin down,” reports Songwriting Instructor Johnny Ali Garcia. He pauses to receive a recitation of in-progress lyrics from a student. “That’s beautiful, really amazing,” he says after listening. The student scurries back to her workstation. “I feel like it’s a very fluid class and that’s important to me,” he continues. “Sometimes it’s been two separate classes, songwriting and beats & rhymes, but I see it as all on the same continuum. These guys are writing a song about a bluebird who crashes into a tree, ‘And it was feathers galore!’ They’re literally cooking over there.”

I make my way back downtown in anticipation of the end of the period. Striding the grassy knoll I encounter Straggler Patrol Jasper Skelton.

“Campers are excited,” they report. “One camper was tired so we arranged a nap for him, but it looks like he’s up and about now so that’s good. Sometimes at second period kids can be more tired, but besides our one napper everyone seemed highly engaged.”

“There’s certainly something in the air,” continues Jasper, referring to the haze. “But it’s cool and breezy so I think most people haven’t even noticed. When smoke gets bad at Camp we scale back aerobic activity, but we’re nowhere near that point so far. The main thing we need to remember is keeping up with our hydration, even though the heat wave is over.”

The conch blows, calling campers to the Rainbow Theater for afternoon activity announcements. I pull one stilt student aside for one last perspective. Stilt students at Camp are required to go through a series of trials in order to become “electrified” (see: qualified).

“I didn’t know if I was ready to get electrified, but I decided to just go for it,” says Hiram, 11, of the Maroon Tipi. “The stilts felt heavy on my legs. First I walked up the hill and then I did my laps, five of them. After that I ducked under the tree, touched my toes, and clapped under my knees—I clapped way more than ten times because I can. I had mixed feelings about stepping over the Pillow of Doom, but I got it on my first try! Now I’m electrified. Whenever I get the chance to do stilts, I take it. It’s very hard at first, but once you get the hang of it, it’s the best thing ever.”

Stay hydrated,

—J. Payseno, Editor

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Weird in a Good Way

Wednesday, July 17th, 2024

DOWNTOWN CAMP circa 5:30pm—The rich azure makes the sky look closer to earth than normal, like a solid barrier holding back the oaks from releasing acorns into orbit. A pleasantly warm sun accommodates shorts and pants alike. Breezes gently prod the row of makeshift 5-gallon bucket theater houselights, causing them to swing in alternate phase, a sort of can-light can-can. Birdsong is just audible beneath the human commotion of afternoon free time.

I move from the Theater, down a small slope into the carpeted Big Top where acrobatics typically takes place. At this late hour the only acrobats present are the agile fingers of two crocheters who recline among an assortment of yarn. Stilters in the stilt field can be seen stilting along, holding large vertical poles topped with umbrellas. Unicyclers too are hard at work, honing their balance with the help of a horizontal pole at the triangular Uni Track.

The conch is blown, calling campers to their tipis for a fifteen-minute check-in. I return to the Theater to prepare for song circle. As I tune my guitar and rifle through my harmonica bag other musicians arrive with their respective instruments: bass, drums, tambourine, and even a melodica. Tonight we will continue teaching “Gates of Steel” by DEVO.

Last night was Teacher Talent Night, where teachers display the many skills we offer in an earnest attempt to ignite the performative aspirations of campers. Today I met with several such campers to see how well this ploy played out.

“Every year I look forward to Teacher Talent, and this year it really delivered,” said Kirby, 14, of the Purple Tipi. “It’s when kids get to see their full potential. It’s amazing how you can be amazed by so many things. The juggling act was really great. It inspired me to go to juggling class today. I got up to three balls for five seconds, which is more than I’ve done before. Very motivating.”

“It was interesting; I haven’t seen anything like that,” said Ara, 13, of the Ultraviolet Tipi. “Nothing stood out; they were all equally fun. It was a bunch of humans expressing themselves in weird ways—weird in a good way. The unicycle-puppet collaboration was chaotic, but interesting.”

“The stilts ‘high fashion’ show was so funny I fell off of my bench,” confessed Yael, 12, of the Rainbow Tipi. “Riley was doing really funny commentary. And the costumes were amazing. Someday I hope to be a stilt supermodel myself. Overall, lots of skill, lots of fun.”

“The improv was funny,” said Hazel, 12, also from Rainbow. “It was impressive that they just came up with stuff. The aerials were impressive too.”

“It went on too late, but I’m on Michigan time,” said Lena, 11, of the Red Tipi. “My favorite was the ‘Moodswings’ dance act. Bunny was really good in it.”

“The clown act was so funny,” said Zahara, 11, also from Red. “They were singing off-key opera and then they used balloons to make this crazy noise while they pretended to sing.”

“Ten out of ten,” said Tristan, 10, of the Maroon Tipi. “Vashaun doing a handspring backflip was amazing and ridiculous. And I liked Johnny Ali’s song; it was pretty.”

“I was shocked by the sheer amount of talents,” said Anaya, 12, of the Ultraviolet Tipi. “I had two favorites: Vashaun doing a backflip and Val singing ‘All of Me’. Probably my favorite show so far this session.”

“My favorite was juggling—I don’t know why—I just liked it,” said Sam, 12, of the Blue Tipi. “I can kinda juggle, but the teachers, they can really juggle. I went to juggling today and worked on my three-ball pattern. I practiced a lot during free time. Overall the show was spectacular.”

Stay hydrated,

—J. Payseno, Editor

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Feeling Skittish

Tuesday, July 16th, 2024

LAKE VERONICA circa 4:00pm—A glorious sheet of high clouds have transformed the usual barrage of harsh afternoon sunbeams into a perfectly diffuse aura of grey light. Everything is gently illuminated with no shadow anywhere. The shade structure stubbornly remains even in its obsolescence. A patch of wild pennyroyal bombards the shoreline area with its soapy aroma while a garrison of bumblebees rifle through the periwinkle petals. The shallow water has been made into a murky latte from disturbed silt while the majority of the lake remains a shimmering black. Campers stream back and forth across the lake, taking official swim tests or enjoying free swim.

The lake shuttle arrives for a final trip, setting into motion a chain reaction of wrap-up commands. What was recently a bustling hub of aquatic activity has now been marshaled into full-on departure protocol. Campers clamber out of the water and on to the patchwork of shoreline mats. Teen staff with hands cupped to their mouths attempt to organize a walking group back to Camp. The first lake day of Session C has come to an abrupt end.

Earlier today I questioned some breakfast patrons on their take-away from last night’s Tipi Skit Night.

“Our skit was… interesting,” said Dune, 12, of the Blue Tipi. “We didn’t really plan at all, no one knew the song, and there was no order whatsoever. It actually turned out pretty decent. We just shouted out our names in the song breaks. People were laughing. It was entertaining.”

“It was fun but long,” said River, 13, of the Ultraviolet Tipi. “It was basically the same thing fifteen times in a row. I don’t think it was lame; it was funny. The espresso skit was hilarious.”

“I liked the skit the older boys did about kind of cars they were driving,” said Felix, 10, of the Orange Tipi. “There were a lot of Toyotas and even a BMW! Our skit was car-themed too. We were the ‘O-Range Rovers’. It was ridiculous.”

“Not a lot of people were trying to skip evening program by coming over to the fire,” said Waterfront Honcho Annika Crowley, who tended the night watch fire last night. “By deduction I figure that the show must have been entertaining.”

“I heard all the commotion at the Rainbow so I knew my mom was tricking me,” said Miles, 5, while engaged in a chess game with his uncle. “The score is 2-1 against Uncle Jasper. Camp is good but let me focus.”

“I was a valet and the campers were cars,” said Teen Staff Sha’him. “It’s ironic because I don’t even drive. If I got pulled over I would just show them my shirt,” he quipped, gesturing at his McLovin’ ID shirt, a reference to the 2007 film Superbad.

Stay hydrated,

—J. Payseno, Editor

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Cauldron of Silliness

Monday, July 15th, 2024

TIPI CIRCLE circa 7:00pm—Speckled, soft-edged shadows creep up from the ground onto tree trunks and tipi walls as the sun dips behind the sprawling oak boughs while long, crisp shadows race across the wood chips to keep up with strolling counselors. The faint smell of bay leaves waxes sweet in the evening coolness. The faint clacking of juggling equipment mingles with a hundred ambient conversations as campers stand in groups or dart around benches. Feet are rinsed; the stage is swept; a stilt walker strides by.

A conch is sounded from the back of the Rainbow Stage, signaling tipi groups to gather. The matter at hand is for each tipi group to create a pithy skit to perform, and one in which every camper can introduce themselves to everyone else. With only fifteen minutes allotted to craft these dramatic displays, they tend to lack in plot arcs and character development, but are never the less highly entertaining. It’s an opening ritual that plunges everyone into a cauldron of silliness, cleansing us of dour, city-slicking sensibilities.

I take advantage of the liminal moment to garner some first impressions from our new slate of campers. I encounter a squadron of Yellow Tipi residents while passing by the Lost & Found.

“I’m gonna have some circus fun!” boasts Leila, 10. “My favorite night is the Tornado of Talent. I’m gonna make a skit with my friends, something about Camp or a gameshow. It’s a really great opportunity to be funny.”

“Camp is my home-away-from-home,” says Maya, 10. “Actually, Camp is my real home, so that means my home-home is actually my home-away-from-home. It’s confusing. All of the counselors and most of the kids are really nice.”

“I like to goof around and make jokes,” says Eva, 10. “I can’t make one up right now, but it just happens naturally walking around here. There’s so many funny people!”

“I have zero quotations, I’m just happy to be here,” says Dalila, 10.

Returning to the Tipi Circle I pass Green Tipi engaged in some sort of submarine pantomime while the neighboring Lime Tipi is chanting, “Espresso!” over and over.

“Two thumbs up,” reports Dominic, 7, of the Lime Tipi. “I liked the pizza for dinner. I had pepperoni and cheese but I liked the pepperoni best. I’m planning on doing acrobats tomorrow.”

“I don’t care what kind, as long as it’s pizza” raves Henry, 10, of the Orange Tipi. “Except for veggie, don’t give me veggie pizza. I’m gonna try all the classes.”

I continue west to the Juggling Cart, a small wagon filled with juggling implements, currently guarded by Juggling Instructor Deirdre Baker.

“They were gobbling up pizza faster than my eyeballs could work,” says Deirdre. “More kids ate salad than I expected. It was so hot when I first got here two days ago; I’m so glad it cooled off. I’m really excited for the return of Dino Mail!”

I drop by the Aerials Site where I find three instructors waiting for the next orientation group to arrive.

“We’re hitting the ground running,” says Aerials Instructor Djuna Barricklow. “Wait, no, we’re hitting the air gliding,” she corrects. “I’m a fan of the pre-dressed salad because you can just throw it right down the gullet no problem, no messing around.”

“We got the trap,” says Aerials Instructor Shakon, hanging from a trapeze. “If the trapeze had a zodiac sign I want to say it might be a water sign, like a Pisces.”

I loop back toward the Stilt Field where an orientation presentation is taking place. Budding Stilt Instructor Tommy Goyette is standing confidently on a pair stilts while calmly explaining rules of the Stilt Field to a group of campers. American Sign Language Instructor Phaedra Kossow-Quinn interprets as Tommy speaks. Veteran stilter Nova Platt looks on from her perch on the technicolor stilt bench.

“I’m letting Tommy take the helm,” says Nova. “He’s doing great. He’s very skilled.”

“Did I cover everything?” shoots Tommy over to Nova.

“Gum and running,” she responds, glancing at a clipboard.

“Ah, yes,” he says, launching into the final two talking points.

Satisfied that Session C is off to a good start, I slink away to the office to digitize my findings. Once darkness settles in, Camp will gather for the aforementioned tipi skits—but more on that tomorrow.

Stay hydrated,

—J. Payseno, Editor

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Big Show, Big Community

Saturday, July 13th, 2024

STILT BENCH circa 4:00pm—Merciful clouds and a faint breeze have blessed today’s Big Show with their presence, bringing the temperature back into double-digit territory. Grown-ups swarm the campus with their slow strides, phones outstretched. Sun hats, cargo shorts and floral dresses dominate the fashion landscape. Clapping emanates from the various simultaneous performance areas. A large peace sign drawn in flour adorns the ground of the Stilt Field, where the parade recently culminated to begin the show. A conch blows, calling everyone together for the main stage performances.

“Let’s make some noise for Juggling,” chime co-emcees Riley Soloner and Mayahuel Montoya. The lightly distorted riffs of the Beatle’s rendition of ‘Roll Over Beethoven’ come locomoting into the muggy air as children fill the stage.

Having acclimated to our microcosm of Camp dwellers, the presence of 200 extra adults is somewhat unsettling, though the prospect of the children leaving is commensurate solace. Earlier I took the opportunity of this heterogenous gathering to interview a sampling of parents, alumni, and current campers.

“The campers acknowledging Wavy, that’s cute,” said alumnus Cedar Love. “I love the new director Ginger, she’s super great. The acoustics of this song writing act are really good. Shoutout to my cousin, Johnny Ali!”

“Seeing the Big Show exciting but kinda weird because I wasn’t around to see it get put together like usual,” admitted alumnus Gina-Raye. “The stilt dance was nice. It was epic when Zoe did the splits. I miss Mara. Shoutout to Djuna!”

“As I walked over the bridge I heard cheering,” said parent Leah. “It was like walking into a bubble; I knew everything was going to be okay because of the sound of happy voices. The stage seems smaller but I guess my kids is just bigger. Watching my kid become a teen staffer, I’m so proud, and so confident that Camp will hold her. There’s no better place.”

“I’m getting ready for Calvin and Hobbes, and I’m playing Hobbes!” said Xing Ling, 13, of the Purple Tipi. “I’m hoping to make some people laugh. So far the show is really entertaining; everyone’s doing a great job. Great year, great tipi.”

“The dragon was a nice touch to the parade,” said one-time Juggling Instructor Flopsy Auer. “I’m really looking forward to the juggling and unicycle acts. I don’t know, I guess I’m just sort of an adrenaline junkie! I will say that the Big Show is a lot less tiring when you’re just part of the audience.”

“I’m pretty nervous; I’m not good with big crowds,” confided Cyrus, 11, of the Flame Tipi. “I’m confident in my unicycling, I just get stage fright. But this is a good place to practice because everyone is really kind and sweet.”

“It’s nice to be a viewer with no stress; it’s a different perspective,” said alumnus Byron. “Camp helped me get out of my comfort zone by putting me on stage and I think that was a character-building moment.”

“It’s surreal being back where I made the best memories of my life,” said alumnus Nevaeh. “Walking to the lake with my friends, singing songs—by the way, I had ‘Smallest Camp’ stuck in my head yesterday but I couldn’t remember the words. Can you send me the lyrics?”

Thanks everyone for reading along this session! Have a safe journey home and as always…

Stay hydrated,

—J. Payseno, Editor

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Performance Review

Friday, July 12th, 2024

RAINBOW THEATER circa 10:00am—The last gasps of cool morning air are steadily simmering away into the unstoppable midday mug. Aromas of bug spray and sunscreen bloom on the burgeoning heat. The eastern ascent of the sun oddly backlights the Theater, its shadows waning smaller each minute. Crooked, mossy limbs weave in and out of the verdant canopy. Stark patches of sun glow off-white on the ground and tipi walls. One Wavy Gravy takes the stage.

“Today is Friday or Frigg’s Day, in the old vernacular,” begins Wavy from his director’s chair centered on the stage’s apron. The children quietly marvel at his expressive, gravelly cadence. “Today is Pablo Neruda’s birthday, one of my favorite poets.”

A chorus of ‘woo’s signal Camp’s widespread appreciation for the Chilean wordsmith. Wavy continues to read a story from his memoir, Something Good For a Change, wherein he was volunteering at a children’s hospital as a clown. As the story goes, one young patient, Billy, asked Wavy to project the movie Godzilla onto the back of his shaved head for the other kids, which Wavy of course obliged, not knowing that a team of visiting Japanese physicians were touring the hospital that day. Typical Wavy fare. The audience is thoroughly amused and the elderly clown makes his careful exit with the aid of an arm.

Performance Coordinator Jack Crawford takes the stage, transitioning the audience into a Camp-wide parade rehearsal. Children disperse into their assigned areas while the drumming ensemble warms up the chosen rhythm. Once the groups are poised in their starting the position the drumming stops and all of Camp waits in anticipation. Jack can be seen in the distance holding papers and pointing in precise directions as various adults obey her bidding. She produces a large conch shell and sounds it confidently to begin the parade.

Tomorrow this exercise will be outfitted with costumes, props, stilts and unicycles, but today we are just enacting a dry run of the route. All day, in fact, will be a series of rehearsals for the multitude components of Saturday’s Big Show. It’s the final culmination of our two weeks of circus labors. In that spirit, I will be conducting a final round of interviews to assess productivity in the areas of silliness, absurdity and aimless nonsense.

…

“Major success,” said Thea Lamers, babysitter of the one-year-old Robbie. “We probably clocked 45 miles on this stroller. The nap routine involves a lot of walking. Sometimes he falls asleep in one lap of Camp, sometimes five. If we see the maintenance guys, Angel and Jacob, we try to get them to ‘beep-beep’ the truck.”

“There were so many rich and expanding experiences this session,” said Office Assistant Ginny Zeppa. “It was our first time at Camp as a family so we were finding our groove. I think we grew our bonds and discovered new parts of ourselves. It’s hard as an adult to get our compartmentalized brains into the magical fun that Camp provides so seamlessly for kids. It takes hard work to play.”

“I find it supremely impressive that we had so much fun during the heat wave,” said Aerials Instructor Djuna Barricklow. “Adaptation is key. I’ve been creekin’ it to stay cool. I even let some campers put river mud on my leg and pretend to shave my shins with a leaf.”

“What can I say, all of our campers are still here,” said Lifeguard Meadow Wilde. “I count them every day to make sure. Our tipi even gained a camper! There were some trials and tribulations such as a wasp nest in our tipi, but we just spent the night in the Big Top while Angel and Jacob un-alived them with special poison spray. Through it all Rainbow Tipi has prevailed. We even won the game on Adventure Night. The competition was strong, but they put in the better effort.”

“Camp was an escape from moving,” said Raven, 11, of the Yellow Tipi. “It feels like home here. It feels safe. I just wish there was more time! I’m excited to do poetry and ASL in the Big Show.”

“I took a lot of classes, and got better at a lot of things,” said Fox, 11, of the Maroon Tipi. “There’s a lot more to clowning than just goofing around. This place is amazing because it’s just you and your friends in the woods and you can do anything. The whole world is happening right here! I love the animals here and for some reason I’m not even afraid of the bugs here.”

“Last night’s Cabaret was so sweet, tender and to-the-point,” gushed Performance Coordinator José Garcia. “Simply beautiful. The juggling, the tightrope—everyone was at their absolute best. Clowning got some heckles from Wavy, and drama was really cool. This summer I’m just walking amongst the kindness of these young people and it fills me with hope. The Big Show is going to be great tomorrow. Every year we tweak it a little bit—it’s about serving the kids; it’s child centered. I can’t wait!”

“There’s been some issues with audience etiquette,” observed Poetry Instructor Adriana Mendoza Rosekrans. “I think it must be some sort of Fortnite epidemic. Maybe if we put a square metal frame around the Theater so it looks like a T.V., that could help. But overall I think this session was a reawakening—a reimagining—of excitement, joy, and the fun of coming together.”

“Today’s been really good; I love drumming,” said Wyatt, 12, of the Flame Tipi, who is playing in the parade drumming ensemble. “I got introduced to West African drumming at Camp in 2018 and that same year I got myself a djembe. I’ve been playing drums ever since. Os reminded me of J.K. Simmons in that movie Whiplash when he calls us out for slowing down.”

“My dad plays drums and I look up to him,” continued Wyatt. “He loves Dave Matthews but my mom doesn’t. She’s a super hippy. That’s why she brought me here. I was super bummed to have to leave Camp for like four days this session because I got sick, but I’m glad I got to come back. Today I wrote a poem in poetry class about stars that go out and come back to life. That’s where I’m at.”

“I was at Lake Veronica a lot,” said Singing Instructor Iron Jaden. “I like that it’s big, deep, and quiet and peaceful. This is where I learned how to swim when I was 10. I think the more kids are here, the happier Veronica is. The lake works hard; she does a lot for us. I feel so blessed and grateful to be at Camp.”

“Fun, chill, and HOT!” said Lifeguard Vashaun Harris. “I loved every camper in my tipi. They liked my stories even though I’m not a very great storyteller. Some days the lake is chill, sometimes hard. It depends on how many kids and how many lifeguards are out here. I’ve also been helping out with the songwriting class, especially this one student Oliver who made a Winnarainbow rap. It’s got a vibey flow that everyone can vibe with.”

“It was ONE THOUSAND DEGREES, but we made it through,” said Program Manager Osayandé Kokayi. “Water was the key. The lake, the creek, the sprinklers, and of course the drinking water. Also pasta. I love the pasta here. Water and pasta. Classic combo.”

“It’s been really beautiful to see people I taught how to drum are now holding it down for the parade,” continued Osayandé. “Some notes for the grown-ups: The forecast for tomorrow is around 100 so bring your hats and water bottles, and please, please, please, leave your dogs at home. We cannot host them on our campus, and they will not be comfortable waiting in the parking lot. Another thing to note is that we urge the grown-ups to stay for the whole show which runs from 2:30 to 4:00. All the campers have been working all session for this so we hope you can honor their performance time. Safe travels and see you tomorrow!”

Stay hydrated,

—J. Payseno, Editor

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Snack Beach Scandal

Thursday, July 11th, 2024

SNACK BEACH circa 2:00pm—Today’s post-lunch perambulation has lead me to a tranquil corner of Downtown Camp, resplendent with a green grass carpet and plenty of natural tree shade; an oasis of salt, sugar, and carbonation; the irresistible, irreplaceable Snack Beach. Every day campers receive here a small dose of artificial happiness, known as ‘store order,’ usually in the form of chips, candy or Camp’s preferred soda brand, Izze. As recently as 2012, this store order was delivered directly into tipis, though this practice was phased out to discourage critter visitors. And so Snack Beach stands guard, a stoic martyr, receiver of crumbs and the animals that seek them.

“Every day the Teen Staff asks about store order, and then after lunch they bring it out in crates,” explains Emma, 11, of the Yellow Tipi, hands covered in a bright orange layer of Cheeto dust. “You have to eat it in Snack Beach because of raccoons I guess. I haven’t seen one but it’s only my first year. My advice is to get here early so you can get the soda flavor you like. The food in the kitchen is healthy so it’s fun to have some unhealthy snacks every once in a while.”

I jump in the passing Lake Shuttle and continue my interviews with a co-rider. We shout to be heard over the blasting cumbia.

“Everybody wants candy, but you shouldn’t have it all the time,” yells Theo, 15, of the Red Tipi. “That’s why Snack Beach is great because it’s just one time a day. Viva Snack Beach!”

…

LAKE VERONICA circa 3:00pm—Freshly emerged from the lake I give my face and hands a cursory drying so as to interface with my notebook. Sitting at a small picnic table laden with water bottles, sunscreen and a large, yellow water cooler, I inquire an off-duty lifeguard for his professional opinion on the non-aquatic beach in question.

“People only really go there when there’s snack, and then they ignore it the rest of the day,” says Teen Lifeguard River. “It’s grassy and so it has less dust, but it’s overshadowed by the Big Top and Lower Ring. Also, once the campers clear out it turns into a graveyard of wrappers. I’ve gotta be honest, I think Snack Beach has a lot of untapped potential.”

“My favorite Izze flavor is orange because I like oranges,” chimes in Neo, 12, of the Rainbow Tipi. “I don’t like every orange food though, like squash and yams. My favorite color is red; it’s the first color of the rainbow!”

“I don’t care about keeping animals out of the tipi,” claims Neo. “I love rats and foxes and even skunks. I would hug a skunk. I would keep a rat as a child—not a pet—a child. When I grow up I’m gonna have a rat child and I’m gonna eat snack wherever I want, and the rat will eat snack too. And if I go to a party to drink apple juice, the rat will be my drinking buddy.”

The sound of driving cumbia alerts me to the Lake Shuttle’s proximity. I quickly re-shoe and hail a ride.

…

CAMP STORE circa 3:45pm—A forest green box car constitutes Camp’s store order storage. Here I find three land-locked teenagers half-heartedly engaged in product organizing. Scribbled sharpie markings on the inside walls of the store commemorate teen store workers of the past. A large fan serves as a critical lifeline in the otherwise sweltering, sunbaked metal box. I ask for a behind-the-scenes explanation of the infrastructure that makes Snack Beach possible.

“Essentially the first step is handing out the store order forms,” explains Teen Staff Clay. “Then the teen staff for each tipi takes the orders. This session the candy supply chain broke down, but I’m hoping it will come back soon. Every morning Beau and I crunch the numbers to deduct from each camper’s balance. I’m known for filling out cards in record time. Then after lunch we doll out the goods in these milk crates. The other teen staff line up here at two-o-clock and bring the snacks to the kids at Snack Beach.”

Teen Staff Cori pauses saying “ahhhhhh” into the running fan to offer her outlook.

“Some campers are thieves and some are sharing,” she observes. “Some change their mind on what they wanted and then blame the teen staff. Snack Beach is a very lively scene because the stakes are so high (shout out to Gold Tipi for being so polite and orderly). If you miss your store order you might have to wait for a whole half hour until regular snack is delivered!”

She resumes saying “ahhhhhh” into the running fan.

“It’s a strange system, but it makes a lot of people hang out,” says Teen Staff Ian. “I work mainly at the Nurses’ Dome, so Snack Beach is the most time I get to spend with my campers. In the end, snacks are about bringing people together.”

…

ART GROVE circa 4:30pm—A misprint of canvas tote bags has led me to the Art Grove to salvage components of the design to be sold as patches. I am surrounded by like-minded crafters who are happy to pass the afternoon making something precious and semi-useful. Random counselors too are drawn to the chill vibes and shaded seating. I put the question to my table-mates, eager to understand the true meaning of Snack Beach, and it’s implications on society as a whole.

“Don’t get me wrong, I used to be a candy connoisseur,” says Clowning Instructor Riley Soloner. “I was a chip fanatic; I was a genuine soda man! It does, however, amuse me to see all these kids waiting around for unnatural food right after lunch. I don’t know—maybe I’m just a grumpy old man—but I think they should all be eating carrot sticks and ice cubes!”

“There’s a lot of arguing,” says Sasha, 12, of the Rainbow Tipi. “People want their snack and they get hangry. My favorite flavor of Izze is green apple, obviously. If you’ve never been there before, just know it’s going to get chaotic, but you’ll get the hang of it.”

“The platform is nice for variety,” says Weston, 10, of the Sky Blue Tipi about the deck adjoining the Stilt Shed. “It’s really nice and shady. There’s also a row of stumps, and you can even rotate around to Lower Ring if you’re feeling adventurous. I’m making a bracelet that says “FIRE IN THE HOLE”, which is a meme from the Geometry Dash video game. Snack Beach is easier than easy difficulty, it’s ‘auto’, no skill required. Auto levels are relaxing. I approve.”

“I will say, it is very hot in that store,” says the aforementioned Beau, who happens to be walking by the Art Grove. “People think doing math and playing with cards is easy, but it’s not easy in this heat. One good thing about this gig is the flexibility though. Once we pass out the crates, we basically have the afternoon off. Having no candy is a bummer, but at least the chips and Izze’s are moving. It’s nice to feel important.”

…

TIPI CIRCLE circa 5:45pm—The conch has blown, signaling the end of free time, and yet I feel I have barely scratched the surface. It seems as though every answer just leads to more questions, and no one’s willing to tell the truth. Unsure where to go next, I seek the sage counsel of Poetry Instructor Zora Skelton while she waits for her campers to arrive.

“Snack Beach is total anarchy; I avert my eyes,” says Zora. “All these hippy kids are used to sugar-free, organic granola flax. The very idea of a Cool Ranch Dorito is enough to turn a young child raised in Arcata, California into a rabid rabbit! The whole area should be bulldozed and turned into a turnip farm. Now that’s dessert! Have you ever had a turnip in July? Nothing sweeter.”

Stay hydrated,

—J. Payseno, Editor

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Action/Adventure

Wednesday, July 10th, 2024

RAINBOW THEATER circa 9:00pm—The Grim Reaper takes the stage to perform a soothing lullaby. All manner of pirates, witches, fairies, and sleazy salesmen from New Jersey sit in a semi-circle, looking on in fearful reverence. Campers still giddy from the evening’s festivities chat and squirm in the theater benches. Another Adventure Night has arrived at its final conclusion.

“We are the children of Camp Winnarainbow,” he begins in a low, gravelly tone. The crowd giggles at the monotone rendition of the classic Camp lullaby. His serious demeanor is undermined by a lapse in lyric recall, sending the campers into rages of laughter and heckling.

After finishing the song he utters the famous words of Wavy Gravy, “Brush ’em if you got ’em,” signaling the transition from showtime to bedtime. The campers rush from the bright Theater to the darkness of the Tipi Circle in a babbling wave, waving flashlights in search of toiletries.

Preparations for Adventure Night began this afternoon with the creation of two large 2-sided dice—or D-20’s as gamers may know them—out of cardboard, duct tape and acrylic paint. It was then determined that a large amount of counterfeit money would be required. This was accomplished through the implementation of Camp’s trusty paper cutter, likely dating back to the Wilson administration.

After dinner it was deemed prudent to hose down the wood chips before flour lines were laid. The plan was to turn the entire Tipi Circle into a giant board game. Once 7:45pm arrived we gathered campers in the Circle for an explanation of the rules. Each tipi had been assigned a large object for its game piece, such as a unicycle or an art easel. The campers were instructed to participate in activity sites to earn fake Camp money, which could be used to buy dice rolls and advance their pieces.

All chaos broke loose at the sounding of the starting conch. We stoked the madness by blasting dramatic movie soundtracks over the PA. I did my best to stop a few campers for quotations, though the frenetic drive to earn fake money was working against me.

“It’s amazing!” said Rowan, 10, of the Sky Blue Tipi. “I’ve only gotten two bucks so far but it’s good. It took me forever to finally get the ring toss. My favorite part is all the dust.”

“I rolled an 18 and then a 15!” said Micah, 10, of the Flame Tipi. The rest of his statement was blurted out too fast to comprehend, let alone record. In an instant he had darted back into the fray.

“Adventure Night is straight ‘W’,” said James, 12, also from Flame. “We should just keep doing this, maybe not every night but most nights. My favorite is the quests we get from the Wizard. My quest is five yellow leaves. Does this look yellow enough?” he asked, holding up a very orange leaf.

“It’s one of my favorite nights because you get to play games,” said Asa, 10, also from Flame. “It’s all about the obstacle course.”

“Adventure Night is cool because we finally get to swing on the trapeze,” said Z, 10, of the Yellow Tipi. “Death is my favorite character and all the money is cool.”

“In my opinion, limbo is underrated,” quipped Art Instructor Rose Moylan. “We just saw the unicycle advance 20 spaces, and Blue Tipi has already completed a full lap. Everyone is just playing; the Camp magic is alive.”

“I did some ring toss and it took a while but I got two eventually,” said Miles, 11, also from Flame. “Can I go now?” he asked before scampering away.

“I think it’s pretty good and competitive,” said Kori, 12, of the Rainbow Tipi. “Even if someone beats you, you’ll still never lose.”

“I think there’s a lot of things to do and it has a good deal of money,” observed Jojo, 12, also from Rainbow. Just then the announcers reported over the PA “Rainbow has taken the lead,” and off ran Jojo.

“My tipi has a lot of money, and that means we might win,” boasted Ella, 13, of the Orange Tipi. “Crate ball is not going well for me; I have no strategy. But my teammates are very solid. Overall, awesome-sauce.”

At the stroke of 9:00pm we sounded the conch to end the game. We gathered in the Theater for a debrief from site leaders. It was announced that Rainbow Tipi emerged victorious, which entitles them to a custom candy prize of their choosing.

Stay hydrated,

—J. Payseno, Editor

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Election Coverage 2024

Tuesday, July 9th, 2024

CAMP OFFICE circa 9:00pm—The Dead Bug Collection is one of the greatest experiments ever undertaken in the world of Winnarainbow. From its humble beginnings in the early 2010’s as a open cardboard box with bug carcasses sloshing around in it, to it being transferred to a nice plastic box with a lid, to its first democratically held elections in 2016 where the two major parties were established—Slug and Wasp—the Dead Bug Collection has been a beacon for amateur entomologists and pessimistic absurdists everywhere. As explained in the Day 6 blog, both human candidates indefinitely suspended their campaigns for the Dead Bug Presidency on Saturday, and it was reported that two actual dead bugs would be nominated in their place.

Yesterday, Monday, we learned the identities of the two replacement nominees:

CRANE FLY (Wasp, behind the bathrooms)

UNKNOWN SCAVENGER (Slug, dish pit)

It is my pleasure to report that today, Election Day 2024, the first actual dead bug Dead Bug President was elected by popular vote.

Voting began promptly after lunch in the Tipi Circle near the Camp mailbox.

“There’s been lots of turnout,” said Drama Instructor Patrick Belton. “Unknown Scavenger is killing it in the exit polls. I think it’s the name un-recognition. There’s a lot of mystery and that’s intriguing. I think Crane Fly gets bad rep for looking like a giant mosquito. I don’t understand why our only options are two dead guys, though I guess it’s apropos for something called the ‘Dead Bug Collection’.”

“I’d like to know more about Unknown Scavenger, and if it’s unwilling, I find that suspicious,” said Ollie, 14, of the Red Tipi. “I’m not gonna lie, I do like the size of Crane Fly, I think that’s an advantage. I feel like it will get down to business and make the tough decisions.”

“I am of the stance that the Unknown Scavenger has good qualities, but people don’t give Crane Fly enough credit,” said Teen Staff Max.

“I’m voting for the little guy,” said Maintenance Man Angel Herrera. “The little guy always wins.”

“I voted for Unknown Scavenger because big bugs are scary,” said Teen Staff Suleimon. “Little bugs are less imposing, more compassionate and approachable. Little bugs deserve a seat at the table.”

One camper who wished to remain anonymous found an unrelated dead bug near the polling location. Foul play is not suspected at this time.

“Think I don’t care much about any of it,” said Phoebe, 14 of the Blue Tipi. “I don’t like propoganda and I think the Dead Bug Collection will stay the same whoever wins.”

“I’m voting against Crane Fly,” said Cyrus, 11, of the Flame Tipi. “I don’t know much about the Unknown Scavenger but it’s gotta be better than Crane Fly. I honestly haven’t heard much about the election even though the polls are right next to my tipi.”

I cruised up to the chess grove to beat some campers in chess, one of our many outreach strategies to get out the vote.

“I think the dead bugs should be able to live and die without human intervention,” said Sadie, 14, of the Blue Tipi. “Furthermore, we shouldn’t string up bug corpses for our own amusement. The whole election is illogical.”

“What about sea shells?” questioned Unicycle Instructor Arek Rein Jungwirth. “I think those necklaces with ants cast in resin are okay.”

“It’s the biggest election since George Washington was elected,” said Solomon, 13, of the Purple Tipi. “I’m voting for Unknown Scavenger because of Crane Fly’s corruption. On the question of bug jewelry, I think it’s weird but morally neutral.”

“I think we need to ban DEET,” said Juggling Instructor Memo Gosnell. “But we should definitely have term limits.”

I made my way back to the Tipi Circle, passing a small group of stilt walkers.

“I think the bugs were here first, so I don’t see a reason to have an election about them,” observed Mae, 12, of the Rainbow Tipi. “If you hurt bugs, they’ll hurt you. Just like a mosquito needs blood from a human or animal, without bugs we wouldn’t live and neither would plants. I don’t know exactly how it works but I looked it up once.”

“We have a lot of crane flies at home, so I know that even though they look scary, they’re harmless,” continued Mae. “I like Camp. Some spiders and mosquitos have bitten me, but that’s the circle of life.”

“I think the election is too competitive,” critiqued Soleil, 9, of the Gold Tipi. “Since this is a hippy camp, we should just hang out with the dead bugs. Hippies are chill, but I don’t want to be a hippy when I grow up. I wanna be a hip-hop dancer.”

“The Dead Bug Collection Election is great; I like the democracy of it all,” said Sivan, 13, of the Scarlet Tipi. “I like how campers can vote and have a voice. I don’t see much difference in the candidates, but I voted for the underdog just to be contrarian.”

“I’m glad we found actual dead bugs for candidates,” said Izzy, 11, of the Maroon Tipi. “I liked the voter outreach, such as shouting at people as they walk by.”

“All bugs are fighting to prove their purpose in a world of selfish humans,” preached Dance Instructor Karma Engel. “I think all politicians should have mustaches. Why think for yourself when you can have someone tell you what to think? Ignorance is bliss. Justice for bugs!”

The polls remained open until the conch was blown for evening program. I met with other election officials to tally the scores. Here are the final results:

UKNOWN SCAVENGER wins with a landslide 61.4% of the electoral college.

CRANE FLY came in a distant second with 33.3%.

LADYBUG, and unexpected write-in candidate, came in third with 5.3%.

The results were revealed during the so-called Weirdo Talent Night to a resounding mixture of cheers and boos. Inaugural proceedings will take place tomorrow at Dinner Circle.

Stay hydrated,

—J. Payseno, Editor

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