Lost in Teenslation
Friday, July 19th, 2024
DOWNTOWN BATHROOMS circa 8:30 pm—The daytime’s blueness has begun to lose its vehemence, leaving the structures and items of our encampment to lose their color and detail. A chair, a crate, a bank of sinks—they take on a monochromatic pallor in the fading light. Crickets blare from every direction. In the background, the festivities of Teen Staff Talent Night can be heard emanating from the Rainbow Theater. Songwriting Instructor Vashaun Harris has been posted guard here for tonight’s show. He surveils the scene from a central perch, dissuading would-be loiterers and mischief makers.
“I don’t know, I was just scheduled here,” he remarks.
The downtown bathroom area, or “Loo-Loo” as it’s known, is a nexus of glamping amenities such as flushing toilets, showers with hot water, and even a laundry service. Nearby a roped-off cluster of trees surrounding a propane tank serve as Camp’s lost-and-found. As the sun fades the bulbs of the bathrooms grow in prominence, attracting bugs and humans alike with their warm glow. I’ve positioned myself here tonight to snag a few buzzing quotations in my web of questions.
“I can’t find my water bottle,” says Quill, 12, of the Sky Blue Tipi, rifling through the lost-and-found crates. “I looked all over and I can’t find it. It’s red and purple and covered in stickers in case you see it. There’s one sticker that has a bunch of dice and two hands clutching the air around the dice and the caption says ‘Yes, I need more dice!’ That’s how I feel normally. Now in addition I feel like ‘Yes, I need more water bottle!'”
“I have this theory that Camp does something weird to your brain,” continues Quill. “For example this morning at breakfast we were discussing which day it is. We narrowed it down to Thursday or Friday, but we never came to a full consensus. That’s probably why I lost my water bottle.”
“My friend had to use the bathroom so I came here with her,” says Nirmaan, 14, of the Flame Tipi. “The Teen Staff show so far is really funny and impressive. I think the lost-and-found is great as long as you don’t steal out of it. Just yesterday I found my fake, two-dollar gold earrings in there! I’m glad no one stole them.”
“I was impressed by the diablo,” says Tilly, 14, of the Ultraviolet Tipi. “This one Teen Staff threw it like fifteen feet in the air and then caught it. Crazy. Camp is going good in general; lots of laughter, zero physical pain.”
“I think the lost-and-found is good, but it could be more useful if people paid more attention to it,” says Karina, 14, also from Flame. “The Teen Staff do a really good job of getting the word out by doing a lost-and-found fashion show, and it’s a good opportunity for Teen Staff to get on stage, just like tonight’s show. But the campers just don’t know or don’t care if they’ve lost something.”
“I just got done with stilt dance, and later I’ll be doing acro and aerials,” says Teen Staff Xochitl, panting and perspiring from exertion. “The stilt dance was to ‘Hot To-Go’ by Chappell Roan. I love that song; it’s been my favorite jam since it came out this winter. It’s so campy. It’s sincere pop, like she’s not singing about anything that she doesn’t really feel. She never got to be a cheerleader so she made her own cheer anthem. It’s sort of an ironic statement. She has this one music video where she falls in love with a siren and another where she falls in love with a magician, and another where she falls in love with the Pink Pony Club. But in terms of Teen Staff Talent Night, I was pleased with Mimi’s rendition of Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want For Christmas.’ She has a great voice and did a great job.”
“I’m here to take a well-needed shower,” says Singing Instructor Val Le. “I had my feet in the creek for two hours uninterrupted. I saw an amazing opera performance tonight. In my professional opinion as a singer I can say it was truly virtuosic. It was in Italian so I’m not sure what song it was.”
“Hey, there’s my water bottle!” interjects Val, walking over to the lost-and-found crates. “Put that in your blog!”
“I’m here on top-secret laundry business,” says Laundry Queen Theo Puleston. “Every morning campers can submit laundry in a green mesh bag with a unique number, and I try to get it back to them by the same evening. Right now the washer is making some mysterious noises.”
“The lost-and-found is essential,” says Sebastian, 10, of the Orange Tipi. “Say someone lost one of their crucial items like a toothbrush or a hairbrush or a shampoo—and it was their only one—then their parents would have to buy them a new one. And say you lost your shampoo every day, or even multiple times a day, your parents would eventually run out of money. Plus it would be hard to take a shower. If everyone ran out of both shampoo and money, society might collapse. Someone might come up with a new form of money, such as conditioner. Or better yet, some sort of combination shampoo-conditioner, a two-in-one if you will. That way, if you run out of one, you can just keep using the same thing.”
“Teen Staff Talent is really nice,” he adds.
Stay hydrated,
—J. Payseno, Editor
