The Aerialists Won
Tuesday, July 28th, 2026
AERIALS SITE circa 9:48pm—Three aerialists ascend the rig simultaneously on separate apparati for the grand finale of Teacher Talent Night. The audience oohs, aahs and cheers with the occasional whistle. The ground-set stage lights beam a colorful up-glow on the performers, the dust from recent foot traffic resulting in an unintentional fog machine. Crickets can be heard clearly, even over the moody indie-pop soundtrack. Suddenly the music switches briefly to “Paws Out” by Kit’n’Tenders (shout-out to longtime Winnarainbite Thessaly “The Ukulady” Lerner).
“Paws out! Claws retract! / No kitten fights when you’re out back / Only happy purrs / No more grrrs / Sure it’s hard to play that card / When kittens fight in your backyard!”
Sensing the imminent end of show, I slink through the deserted Stilt Field and head across the Tipi Circle to the toothbrushing zone. As I pass the Juggling Cart I can hear tonight’s emcee Ache Smith utter Wavy Gravy’s immortal words, “Brush ‘em if you got ‘em!” I arrive just before the onslaught of children. Tonight’s question: “Who won Teacher Talent Night?”
“Unicycle; that’s the one I was most awake for,” says Ivy, 13.
“It was a tie between juggling and the cat one… aerials!” says Marquez, 10. “They both put on a good show.”
“I thought of another quote,” says Quincy, 10, ignoring my question. “‘It’s not enough to be friendly; you have to be a friend.’ It’s from a book.”
“Unicycle and aerials,” says Damien, 11. “So impressive.”
“Acrobatics of course,” says Frankie, 11. “They put in a lot of work and time to be so strong, and I liked how it looked.”
“The aerialists won,” says Teen Staff Crow. “Things like that take a lot of dexterity. When you do aerials you have to face the danger of falling and injuring yourself. I find that respectable.”
“Kai, because they got on the tall unicycle and were juggling the things that flip around,” says Malea, 13. “It was amazing and very cool.”
“Poetry,” says Simon, 11. “The wordplay was so confusing that it made even more sense. Like when a joke is so stupid that it’s funny. Poetry: it’s the world in words.”
“The juggling, hands down, not even close,” says Janosh, 12. “They were all juggling a bunch of different things and doing a bunch of different tricks. Very exciting!”
“I really liked gymnastics and breakdancing,” says Locke, 10. “There was a dude who came out and did one of those flips on your shoulder, and then he kept spinning until he spun off the stage and knocked over a microphone. Then he stood up and did a b-boy pose. Very funny!”
“I thought they were all good but if I had to choose one I would say silks,” says Calais, 12. “But I might be a little biased because I do silks myself. Besides that, I liked stilts. I’ve never done it so I find them impressive.”
“Maybe acro or dance,” says Miles, 7. “I liked when he spun around.”
“Stilts,” says Maddy, 9. “I don’t know why, I just think it was cool.”
Final skill shout-out tally:
Poetry 1
Dance 2
Stilts 2
Acrobatics 3
Juggling 3
Unicycle 3
Aerials 4
Stay hydrated,
—J. Payseno, Editor